So Bad It Hurts

English is crying in a corner.

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ratandgoat asked: The author of The Forbidden Child/Fifteen and Fearless included a link to the clothes Ari is wearing. This is amazing. Also, being over fourteen doesn't mean that you shouldn't be a virgin.

I still need to read it!!!  No spoilers ;D

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Anonymous asked: Ooh! My friends and I already have a terrible book club! So far we just read scenes out of Sandra Hill books and laugh at how ridiculous the sex scenes are, but book clubs with terrible books are definitely fun!

I totally need to start one of these at my school.  Our lit society is all serious and legit and stuff.

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Anonymous asked: My mom's borrowing 50 Shades of Grey from a friend and was specifically told not to let me read it so of course I get to read it first XD

Hee.  Let me know what you think of it!

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Harry Potter OC

Character Bio.

Name- Mackenzi Remes

Nickname- Mac

Sex- Female (duh..)

Age- (beginning of fic BOF) 13 (end of fic EOF) 17

Status- Bounty Hunter, Tracker and Witch

Who in their right mind would hire a 13 year old as a bounty hunter?  It’s one thing if you’re writing for like Gundam or something because everyone in that universe seems to think it’s totally okay to let 14 year olds pilot giant killing machines but Harry Potter is slightly more reasonable.

Appearance-

Eyes- Violet

Hair- White

Weight- (BOF) 115 lbs (EOF) 130 lbs

Height- (BOF) 5’ 7” (EOF) 6’

I’ll say it again- you don’t want a bounty hunter/assassin to be extremely noticeable.  They should want to blend in as much as possible so that their target doesn’t notice them.

Also, this girl seems remarkably tall and I would think quite underweight. 

General Appearance- High ponytail, side bangs; a chained cuff chocker with a cross, Locket, necklace with all her rings, and a chain with piece of the Resurrection Stone tied into the chain. Wrist length black gloves with the fingers of glove cut off; black nail polish and brown cuffs. Zebra print clip belt that holds her weapons, phone, and Ipod.

Why do people think it’s “chocker”?  That’s not a word.  It doesn’t even look like a word to me, and anyway, it would be pronounced entirely differently from “choker.”

Pssst, here’s a handy tip.  Harry Potter was born in 1980.  That means the series is set in the 1990s.  Cell phones would be extremely uncommon (and bulky) and iPods don’t exist.

Summer- Short athletic shorts, tank top, and Converse high tops.

Fall- Jacket with ripped boot-cut jeans, t-shirt, and Converse low tops.

Winter- Thick jacket ripped skinny jeans with leggings underneath, long sleeve and Converse X-hi.

Spring- Knee high torn jean shorts with a T-shirt and Converse high tops.

That is a lot of Converse.

Also, swear to God, we really don’t care that much about what your character wears.

Speaks with an American accent.

Bio- Funny and powerful. Will do anything to protect others close to her. She is very kind towards animals and those weaker than her. She is very head strong. She reads lots of Stephen King novels and other horror novels. She doesn’t attend Hogwarts but is good friends the all the staff and she is a witch. Has a Husky name Axel who she raised from a pup.

A lot of this is the typical OC hogwash, you know kind and protective blah blah.  I don’t understand the “doesn’t attend Hogwarts” because how else do you get to be a certified witch?  Like, you have to go?

Weapon(s) of choice- two long thin daggers, gun or her fists; very rarely will she use her wand.

I feel that against wizards, daggers or hand-to-hand combat would be relatively ineffective.  Also considering some of the spells that wizards know, you’d think they’d have bullet-proof robes or some kind of bullet-blocking spell.  If you can use magic, why wouldn’t you?

All other characters are as they appear in the movies; BUT Harry WILL have green eyes. I was so pissed when Dan didn’t have green eyes…so pissed…

I don’t know why you would even mention that because nobody cares.

(Source: fanfiction.net)

Filed under harry potter bad fanfiction ENOBY blatant disregard converse speling is HARD

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im-being-sarcastic-of-course asked: Oh my gosh, it actually started off as a Twilight fanfiction. I am so close to crying right now. I have a feeling I need to read this book

We should do a group read.

You know, like Oprah’s book club…but with rubbish instead of anything worth reading.

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im-being-sarcastic-of-course asked: What is 'Fifty Shades of Grey'? I have no idea what anyone is on about

It’s this book that’s been selling like crazy and from what I’ve heard it’s basically an expanded Twilight fanfiction featuring some kind of weird BDSM relationship.

I’m only like four pages into this kind of sketchy pdf copy I got so I might be reading a totally different book but

it has some …er… interesting sex scenes. [tw:  blood]

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dappertea asked: My friend/roommate sent me a link to a tumblr by a sassy gay man who just liveblogs while he reads "Fifty Shades of Grey." It is glorious. Absolutely glorious. The tumblr is "shittyshadesofgay." If you start on page four, you can work your way forward to the later parts of the book.

awporihapwirhg

I love you.

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Anonymous asked: I've been somewhat fortunate when it comes to avoiding characters I hate. There are only two fictional characters I really hate, and they rarely interact with the ones I like so I can avoid them relatively easily. However, I've seen far too many incidents where my favourite character is turned into a one-dimensional villain just because he dares to dislike another, more popular character.

Writers can be really unfair.  Plus it is way easier to simplify someone down to a “bad” person than it is to try to handle various layers of personality and whatnot.

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Parent(s) of the Year

Kissing Liam was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I have my first boyfriend and am headed to America. No worries, we had checked with our parents before leaving. Rachel’s mum had a heart attack at first seeing as we were going to a far country with five guys, but I had told her that Liam and I were neighbors and he’d let nothing happen. My mum was perfectly fine with it, almost as if she wanted to kick me out. She said she was very happy to see Liam and I reunited and as a couple as she’d always wanted.

As far as I can tell, neither of the girls are over 18.

I cannot believe that anybody’s parents would let their underage daughters go off to a different country by themselves with five boys who are in a band.  

Teens always assure their parents that “nothing will happen.”  That doesn’t mean their parents should always believe them, especially when their plans involve gallivanting off to a different country with a guy that hasn’t spoken to them for the past couple of years or so!!!!!!!!

Also when people say that parents want them to get with someone…I don’t know, shipping your kids seems creepy.

PS.  I can’t think that One Direction’s security team would really go along with letting two underage girls come along on the tour.  It’d make terrible publicity and the safety risks would be interesting.

(Source: fanfiction.net)

Filed under one direction seriously stop writing one direction fic bad fanfiction parent of the year award blatant disregard ugh